Character Trial 31: Ichika Orimura

ichika.jpgIchika Orimura– Also referred to as “dense harem protagonist #1” is a teenage boy who is forced to attend an all- girls academy meant to train IS pilots.

This is because he is the only male in the entire world capable of piloting an IS because fuck your logic. 

Ichika is very inept in more ways than just being awful at piloting an IS. He does not understand the Japanese language when it is spoken by the female gender. Or any language spoken by the female gender, for that matter. This is not because he does not know the language but because he’s very ignorant.

It is theorized that Ichika’s brain was, at some point, switched with that of an old bat. Not the animal “bat” with an actual bat.

If you are attempting to get into this man’s pants; first of all, that’s not how it works so you should move on to someone more human. But should you continue in this seemingly impossible endeavor- good luck because it is scientifically proven that Ichika Orimura and getting laid does not exist in the same universe. In Ichika’s universe; sex isn’t something he can see or acknowledge nor is it possible for him to have. Even in the presence of others having sex, it is said that Ichika’s existence and history is moved to a completely different plane. Even Ichika is not aware of this, it is a sad existence and I only know of it because…

Fuck your logic.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s